One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab.
The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.
Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.
*breaks down your front door* i just shaved my legs feel them
TACO NEEDS TO KEEP HIS LITTLE MOUTH SHUT
Keep your standards high, and any guy who is worth it will rise to meet them.
- Ed Westwick
Tattoos 01: Beautiful Body Art
(People who have the good sense of letting their skin heal and not taking a picture of their new tat 5 min after leaving the parlor.)
you never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you like to do for fun.